BEER - Now cheaper than gas - DRINK, Don't Drive.
Wouldn't you know it; brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may no be able to tell the difference.
Thought for the day: OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel. OPEC nations by U. S. grain at $7.00 a bushel. Solution; sell grain for $50.00 a bushel. Can't buy it; tough, eat your oil. Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel butt!
Bumper sticker of the year Award - If you can read this; thank a teacher and since it's in English, thank a soldier!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school but they can in prison????
Why do I have to swear on a Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside????
Rules for Chocolate
- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands YOU ARE EATING IT TOO SLOWLY!
- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit so EAT AS MANY AS YOU WANT!
- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: EAT IT ALL IN THE PARKING LOT!
- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. IT WILL TAKE THE EDGE OFF YOUR APPETITE AND YOU WILL EAT LESS!
- A nice box of chocolate can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. ISN'T THAT HANDY?
- If you can't eat all of your chocolate it will keep in the freezer; but if you can't eat all of your chocolate WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
- Money talks; CHOCOLATE SINGS!
- If you can eat an equal amount of dark and white chocolate ISN'T THAT A BALANCED DIET?
- If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top panty hose; AN ENTIRE GARMENT INDUSTRY WOULD BE DEVASTATED!
- Chocolate has many preservatives; PRESERVATIVES MAKE YOU LOOK YOUNGER!
- WHY IS THERE NO SUCH ORGANIZATION AS CHOCOHOLICS; because no one would join!
- Put "EAT CHOCOLATE" at the top of your list of 'THINGS TO DO TODAY'! That way you'll get at least one thing on your list done.
- We aren't meant to deal with life alone, WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?